Hope for the End of Your Rope

Posted by PureLife

I got this note a week ago from a friend...

“What a daily struggle. I honestly don't know where to turn anymore. I was doing much better for a little while, then hit a few more road bumps, then just tumbled back down into the pit. I really am at the end of my rope.”

My friend is not alone. I’ve been reflecting on similar feelings I had five years ago when I married my husband, Ron. Our wedding day Dec. 4, 2004, was one of the happiest days of my life, a day when Ron gave me the gift of four teenage boys. Four boys and no stretch marks, now that’s a deal!

Shortly after our two-week honeymoon, I quickly learned that step-motherhood was not as easy as Carol Brady and the Brady Bunch made it appear. I felt completely out of my corporate/professional comfort zone, a zone that had provided job descriptions and annual reviews. I had no idea WHAT the boys needed or HOW to give it in ways that would not be intrusive for them during a time of great adjustment. Many nights I would fall asleep quietly in tears, while my new husband lay peacefully sleeping. Thoughts such as, “I feel like a total failure. I love them but hate this. I must not have what it takes,” were ringing in my ears.

Step-parenting has become a source of joy for me since then, but that early season reflects similar times in my professional life, months or years when I have felt completely inadequate, overlooked, unable to win points with my boss no matter how hard I tried.

I’ve learned that all of us experience these end-of-the-rope feelings at numerous junctures. When we do, it’s tempting to think we’re the only one suffering, someone uniquely assigned to a string of struggles and hopelessness no one else can possibly understand.

As I wrote an email of encouragement back to my friend, I outlined several things she could try that would help her endure. While there is no formula-style fix-it to suffering, these strategies have helped me immensely time and again.

Patience – We live in a quick-fix culture and often grow impatient while waiting for anything we need or desire. Coming out of painful seasons is not an overnight process. We need fortitude and friends to help us endure. You WILL make it through, but not necessarily by tomorrow morning.
Pain is a Better Teacher Than Success Will Ever Be – My best lessons in life, those that stick, the ones I go back to time and again, are rarely my moments of glory, but are the seasons of agony, hopelessness, and pain. Not only do I learn crucial truths at these times, but I gain stories. When I speak for an audience, I’m reminded that while they want to know I’m successful, they would prefer to hear about my struggles, how I’ve overcome hardships on the pathway to success.
Suffering Makes Us Relatable – Before I hit my twenties, I never cried at movies or at church services during poignant messages. Then I experienced suffering, and now I cry at the drop of a hat. Through our sufferings we become compassionate, able to relate to the pain of others. In sharing my stories of real-life pain I become real to my audiences, letting them know that we all face the end of our rope at times, but we choose to hang on and gain stories that will inspire others for years to come.

May you be encouraged and motivated to dream even bigger in 2010. The end of your rope can be the perfect moment to reach for something new.